Surviving Valentine’s Day When You’re Going Through a Divorce


by Francesca Federico CPFA®, AIF®, CDFA®, Principal and Co-Founder

Holidays are hard enough when you are divorced or going through a divorce; but one of the worst can be Valentine’s Day: the holiday of love that keeps Hallmark in business. Once a year on this day, it seems everyone is thinking about falling in love or showering a loved one with gifts and treats. It can be a really difficult time for people who don’t have any romantic inclinations or are in the divorce process. Social media, store displays and press celebrating Valentine’s Day can be annoying and bring you down. So how do you get through it?

Two words: Pamper Yourself! Instead of worrying what to get or do for others, go buy yourself something you want or treat yourself to something that may take your mind off of the holiday (within reason, don’t break the bank!). Divorce can make you feel like the only person that you can count on or who cares about you is you. So own it, and spend the day at a spa or treat yourself to a special dinner!

Another way to handle it is to make the holiday about your children. As a kid, Cupid would ALWAYS find his way into our house. He would turn our milk pink and put Hershey kisses in our cereal. By the time I got to school, there was a valentine and some treats in my desk. I still look back and can’t believe how adorable and creative my Mom (aka Cupid) was; although I’m still not sure how she got into school before I did…

Whether you are divorced or going through one, Valentine’s Day adds pressure that you don’t need. So shift the focus from romance and love to something that will take your mind off of the holiday and its intended meaning — love yourself, love your kids, and have some fun with it!

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